We've decided to scrap our "Jokes" page, because we would rather just list stupid things that we've recently said. Instead, we hope you enjoy our list of quotes (which hopefully will continue to grow as we continue to say stupid things):

Dan Miyamoto, 9-11-08:
(At 12:00pm sent as a text message)
"Chick Fil A at lunch is always MILF central"

Dan Miyamoto, 9-6-08:
(At 4:02am while eating breakfast after an OLD SCHOOL show)
"There's no bacon porn..."

Dan Miyamoto, 8-24-08:
(At 3:42am while waiting for a table at the Double T Diner after an OLD SCHOOL show)
"She looked like giant grape...wrapped in a tent..."

Melissa Needer, 6-5-08:
(At 2:20pm after dealing with a patient)
"The more people I meet, the more I like my dogs!"

Melanie Thomas, 5-25-08:
(While watching Mike make a plate at her Memorial Day Party)
"Crab legs and cheesecake? That's just disgusting!"

Pat Owens, 5-24-08:
(At 11:07am, while talking to Mike, who had been drinking and fishing since 6:30am!)
"I have a feeling you're gonna be no good to me tonight!"

Sean McCann, 5-19-08:
(At 12:56am after drinking for nearly nine hours...only six Bermudian hours)
"...of all the cruddy shit I've done, that disappoints you?"

Tina Tomato, 4-27-08:
(At 3:22am at the Double T Diner after an OLD SCHOOL Show, while watching Dan try to open a pack of crackers)
"It's no fortune cookie!"

Pat Owens, 4-12-08:
(While on break at MacGregor's in Havre de Grace)
"I grow a sack when I'm drunk..."

Dan Miyamoto, 3-30-08:
(At 4:24am, several hours after playing at Kelsey's Pub in Ellicott City)
"Red Bull, it gives you wings. Or a hangover before you fall asleep!"

Dan Miyamoto, 3-29-08:
(During a set break at Kelsey's Pub in Ellicott City)
"...she's probably Jewish..."

Mike Needer, 12-21-07:
(While setting up his drums at the very cozy Greene Turtle in Mt. Airy)
"This is like setting up in my bathroom."

Jay Bogczyk, 12-17-07:
(In the middle of a discussion about story-telling)
"I'd titty-f$%& a clown just for the story."

Pat Owens, 11-24-07:
(In regards to the quotes page)
"Here's the deal. I'm sitting here at work and I'm updating the website and it's occurred to me that we never update the quotes page. The reason we don't update the quotes page is because I can never remember the things people said the morning after they said it. So - whenever someone says something funny, simply send it to us and we'll be happy to post it. You can contact us by clicking here."

Daddy Bobby's Daddy, 5-28-07:
(While commenting on American Idol contestants being allowed the opportunity to meet Tony Bennett)
"They shouldn't be singing with him as equals. They should be washing his car."

David Golden, Professor of Medicine at Johns Hopkins University, 5-18-07:
"When it comes to allergies, there are no good years. There are bad years and terrible years."

Mike Needer (age not important), 4-18-07:
While telling a story about the 12th Annual Testosterone Weekend:
"We drank so much beer, we knew we needed to get some liquor..."

David Arden Brown (age 34), 2-4-07:
After getting shot by an Air Soft Pistol:
"That would make me not want to hump Kyle."

Kyle Christopher Martin (age 4), 1-2-07:
When asked by his dad, Uncle Earl, what he just put in his mouth:
"...it didn't taste like a booger..."

Pat Owens, 12-29-06:
At MacGregor's, directed to the mailman:
"Dude, you should sue Ab Roller."

Scott Clause, 12-18-06:
In regards to Pat's liking of Rocky Balboa, Pontiac Fieros, Kyle Boller and Chris Hoiles:
"Saint Patrick - The patron saint of lost causes."

Jeff Adamson, 12-18-06:
Regarding drinking:
"Pat often thinks about quitting, but no one likes a quitter."

The firm-wide Manager at an accounting firm - 12-13-06:
"This event is like cows in a cage. It's not an intimate setting."

Rob Jack- Provident Bank, 12-12-06:
"We're not a blood bank."

Mike Needer- Reckles Ric's, 12-8-06:
"Pat used to be a bumpkin."

Rob Jack- Brannan's, 11-25-06:
"We're just like a bunch of drunken fourth graders."

Jeff Adamson- Leadbetters, 11-19-06:
"Daddy Bobby."

Dan Miyamoto- Coakley's, 11-18-06:
"I don't dismiss it."